Maple Tree

When Cheating is Fair

2009-10-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

The geometry teacher and I volunteered to play games at the pep rally this Friday. We decided, since we were half the age of the first string football players, we could cheat, and after throwing cones, tackling the other side, and unblindfolding ourselves, we won. Go Gators!

Mine

2009-10-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

One morning as I was driving up I-10 into a violet-fire sunrise, my heart told me a secret my brain already knew. I am in love with Christopher. Then this weekend under a tangerine-hazy sunset Chris made me want to write entirely in cliches, complete with heart-dotted "i"s. I am the happiest girl in the world, and in eight months it'll be all you-and-me-and-Sam make three, a family.

Of course, I immediately started making plans for the wedding. I would need a parrot applique for the wedding dress, a fire thrower, Star Wars action figures, an Elton-John pianist, a priest, a deacon, a Methodist preacher, a biker with a chainsaw, and a Mexican wedding shirt. (For those of you that know me well, you know that this is not a random, made-up list but an actual (mostly-actual anyway) accumulation of items and people). Immediately, I was thrown off the wedding-planning committee. I'm thinking of it as for the better instead of the worst. C'mon, though, am I the only one that thinks Chris doesn't look excellent in the Jack Black outfit?

Chris is an excellent sport. I figured this out early on, as we had our first date with my entire family. It was supposed to be a double date, but word got out that we were going to a restaurant. Chris actually called for a second date. I should have known right then and there.

Many thanks for the warm wishes and congrats!

Toddler Real World

2009-08-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

Amberrific came up with this brilliant idea for a Toddler Real World show. She took most of the footage and I hacked it together... all that's missing from this video editing is the duct tape. I hope you enjoy.

Sam Potter

2009-07-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

These glasses may officially be my favorite yard sale find. Sam and I are readjusting to Louisiana weather after 10 glorious days in Kentucky, where we splashed, laughed, camped, and relaxed. I think my guardian angel must have been sitting on my shoulder suggesting that we head for the hills this summer.

I'll write more later. Try not to check back every 30 seconds... the anticipation, I know, will kill you. In the meantime, enjoy this ridiculously nerdy photo of Sam with his sista by anotha motha, Reva.

Airborne Sam

2009-07-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

2009-07-02T18:47:00.001-07:00

The suspect at the scene of the crime.

The scene of the crime.

And you thought it was just a book.

Summer Rocks

2009-06-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Sam still in his p.j.s at 7:30 a.m. Phew, we're being some lounge lizards this summer. It's great to be able to spend some time at home with Sam. Every day is an adventure, especially if you get out before 10 a.m. when it suddenly gets to be 95 degrees.

Sam's Show

2009-06-14T12:31:00.001-07:00

Yummy Gummi!

2009-05-23T19:52:00.001-07:00

Sam loves u-pick eating. Early this spring Papa gave him a lowquat off the tree. Now the gummies and blackberries have come in, and Sam is all about picking his own fruit. He eats the ripe ones, the green ones, the pits, the leaves, occasionally some mulch.

To him, this is the important thing: "I do it myself, mamma". In other words, "Back off, lady; I'm eating here."

The gummi is an important Maples tradition. The bush, as far as Mr. George legendgoes, is a kin to the Russian Olive. All I know is that it is good eating and spitting. Yummy, gummies.

P.S. I'm sorry to my Facebook friends, who apparently can't see the pictures. If you ever travel away from Facebook, try the full-color version at lizmaples.blogspot.com.

Are You Sitting Down?

2009-05-18T17:36:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I had a job at Toys-R-Us. I walked around and straightened things, maybe put some Spiderman underwear out. I spent 5 hours at a time on my feet, and at 23 I thought I was going to die. Yes, I thought it was awful.

Then I started working at the flower shop. After really busy mornings I would sneak into the storeroom, take off my shoes, and put my bare feet on the cool floor. Just for a moment. It was all I needed. I thought, my feet will never recover. Woe, is me.

Then I moved in with Emily and her two kids. I didn't even contribute that much. Maybe made dinner and helped clean up, but after working all day (by working I mean sitting at a computer screen and occasionally strolling over to a meeting where I continued the sit-on-my-buttness), how was anyone supposed to survive?

Then I started teaching. After my first three days I went to the store and bought an expensive pair of running shoes. I felt like I was playing defense all the time. Up the aisle, down the aisle... Talk and move. Don't stand still, don't let down your guard or they will attack and leave you duct taped to a chair.

Then I was pregnant and teaching. Insert expletive here.

None of this. I repeat, none of this has anything on parenting a toddler. In the span of one minute Sam can read a page of a book, climb on the couch, forget the book and climb down, climb back up, lick the dog (yes, he licks the dog), read another page, close the book when Mama even mentions one thing about what might be on the page, climb down the couch, see a cup, climb up the kitchen chair, knock everything off the table, climb down the chair, get the cup, take one sip, manage to spill the spill-proof cup, climb on the car, go two feet, run over Mama, attempt to run over the dog, spy the book. Repeat.

I'm not kidding. I timed it.

Mother's Day

2009-05-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

I shot this mother-daughter duo the day before Mother's Day. They were just so cute together. They wanted me to take pictures of the Mom whispering in her daughter's ear. This is one of the things I feel like I'll miss out on, not having a daughter. I love Sam, don't get me wrong, but, maybe it is just that because as a daughter I'm already familiar with the deep, connectedness we, as women, have with out mothers. I can't imagine something as profound as that happening between a mother and her son. Why isn't this in the "What To Expect" books?

The Crud

2009-05-04T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sam has had the crud for two weeks. He won't run a consistent fever, I say fever, the doctor won't consider 99 a temperature. He is still eating, but just a little bit less than normal. He is coughing, and I think his nose must be halfway to China by now. I say, please get sick enough for me to do something about it. The in between sick is killing me.

Can we not have a machine that we hook up to our kids, like the one mechanics have for cars, that just tells us what's wrong? Either that or Sam, buddy, it really is time you just started talking.

Where's the limo carriage?

2009-04-28T17:53:00.001-07:00

This baby tux was worth the 25 cents at the garage sale. Sam was a nice compliment to Brennan's prom photo-op.

Uh-Oh Spaghetti-O

2009-04-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

This was worth the 20-minute kitchen clean-up.

Brennan

2009-04-22T17:37:00.001-07:00

I can hardly believe it, but my oldest nephew, Brennan, is graduating from high school this May. He is so funny and sweet. I remember how I took him and his brother, Tyler, to a Warped Tour concert, and neither one of them would get in the mosh pit. I, of course, dove in. Brennan held my stuff for me.
He was such a card on this shoot. It was almost too easy. He has a bitchin' Camaro and he climbed all over the thing, so I could shoot. I am so proud of him. Congrats, Brennan.

Class of 2009

2009-04-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

I shot my second batch of senior pictures over spring break. She told me she looks at the pictures every day, and even though I know that is part teenage narcissism, it still makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

She was really wary of taking pictures around the Cathedral gardens downtown, so I sent her this gem at the end of the batch. It says, in case you can't see, "She doesn't bite."

Watch Out Walls

2009-04-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

I turned around, and Sam was sitting on the kitchen table. We have officially started climbing. The chairs, the couch, the stroller, the bathtub, me ... My chairs now look like they are in a line-up, all pushed against the wall as far away from anything dangerous as possible.

I think this was all triggered by a visit to Sam Houston, when Sam discovered he could climb the steps and go down the slide on the playground. We did it about a gagillion times. This was after he took a 15 minute hike down the orange trail, and then sat down ... I had to carry him out.

We went home, me with the memories and him with a butt full of sand and a mouth full of S'mores.

The next day the climbing commenced.

Where's the Beef?

2009-04-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

I'm soaking some pinto beans to cook Tuesday for my dad. When I left the house he was giving me the third degree. "Do you have sausage? Onion? Cornbread mix? An egg?"
Yes, Dad.

I wonder what he would think of this lovely ham flavoring that came in the bean bag? I mean why buy ham when you can just use the chemical 322o8-T?

Ever since I talked myself into cooking these beans I have been having a hankering for those watery Kentucky pintos with the raw onion and pickle relish. I mentioned this to my mom and she told me that she would pass. Oh, and that she would be bringing rice, so we can have proper beans.

Egg-travaganza

2009-04-05T16:43:00.000-07:00

On Palm Sunday Sam and I went to my brother's annual Easter egg hunt. There were live baby chickens and baby ducks there.

Jason hid a bazillion eggs. This is the 2-and-under field he is preparing. This entire copy paper box was full of eggs.
Sam filled that entire basket up by himself, no lie. He lugged it everywhere and would hardly be persuaded to stop hunting. When his basket was full, I had to dig him out of the other kids' baskets. Finally finished, he collapsed into a glass of ice water.

On the way home Sam says, "Who stole all the bubble gum out of my eggs?"

My Dream Man

2009-03-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

This sounds really sexy to me right now, "Honey, I'll stay in the car with the baby while you jump out and buy the milk."

Liz = Excellent

2009-03-20T18:04:00.000-07:00

My new teacher evaluations are over! Now I only have to produce a 1" binder full of paperwork to say that I do all the things teachers are supposed to do, and then I am done with the state for awhile.

Now I only have a research project, six hours of classes, and an internship between me and my masters.

I have nothing really clever to say about all of this, except, "Yeah!"

I also got Sam into a quasi-Montessori daycare today. They called me on accident, but I guilted them into giving me a spot for the fall. It is a way cool place with Internet cameras, so you can see what the kid is up to all day, and it has dramatic play time, puppet time, and reading time.

I am super stoked. I think I might go to bed early tonight to celebrate.

Ready, Set, Spring

2009-03-18T17:22:00.000-07:00

Dad planted the garden... Watch out summer produce, here we come! When I lived at the house with Dad I was the assistant gardener, but now that I moved out I'm more like the half ass gardener.

However, I have a single mother, grad student, gardening plan. I'm going to throw out a bag of potting soil and plant some stuff in it. Come April. March is booked.

Seriously, if you don't want to mess with much, you can just plant right in the bag. I saw it in Mother Earth News.

I couldn't get the ME link to work, but here's another one.

Daycare Part Deux

2009-03-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

Seriously, shouldn't someone pay me to hang out with this guy all day?

A Case for Taking Welfare

2009-03-17T18:22:00.001-07:00

SWF searching for daycare spot for cute kid. Will take any outfit not hiring sexual predators, long walks on the beach not necessary.

When I was pregnant and my mom kept telling me to start looking for daycare I kind of thought she meant I should start interviewing places, taking tours, you know, being the picky Mom all the magazines tell you to be... What she actually meant was ... get one or you'll be left out in the cold.

March is sign-up time, and I am number 90 on a waiting list for one spot... That's my best shot at the moment.

Not to mention that decent daycare costs about $140 a week...

So, you have to beg someone to take your 600 bucks a month, still spend 40 hours a week away from your child (that's about half of their waking time total in a week), and feel lucky that you have a spot anywhere. This is the reality of having a child.

I see why it makes more sense for single mothers to quit their jobs and get welfare.

Pepper's Past

2009-03-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning out the old photos, and I came upon this treasure. I spent a lot of time by myself in the spring and summer of 2004. I can't explain a lot of what I was doing, but I think it goes to show, well, suffice it to say that I should have gotten out more.

This is okra.

One Big Boy

2009-03-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

Sam had his birthday party today. His due date was close to St. Patrick's Day, and I was trying to convince the doctor to induce on that day, but I went into labor early.

So, Sam will have to suffer for the rest of his life with St. Patrick's Day parties. Although when we went to Party City to get the loot we really only saw drinking games on the St. Paddy Day aisle. OK, kids fill up your shot glasses with Kool-Aid, now you take this quarter...

Sunday was an excellent day for a party. We got to fly a kite, ate some ribs, played ball, blew bubbles. Sam ran after all the kids just clapping and clapping.

One party down ... 14 to go, right? He'll be too cool for birthdays by 15? Maybe I'll let him dye his hair green for 15, but no drinking games. I have to draw a line somewhere.

Feel the Love

2009-03-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

This is why I love my family ....

When I went to mow my lawn last weekend-- something that should have been done two weeks ago, but I refused because it was February-- my mower kept stalling out on me. After the fourth restart I was too tired to start her up again, so I left a patch unmowed.

Then I was sad because today was Sam's birthday, and I had to teach all day and then go to night class.

Whenever I can't my family does.

My brother, Stephen, came over while I was at work and fixed my lawnmower, and mowed my unmowed patch.

Then our family friends, who are Sam's sitters, got him a chocolate cake and hung a Happy Birthday banner. My sister, Meri, called and invited Sam over for dinner. My mom picked him up at the sitter's and brought him to Meri's for a crawfish supper while I was at class. Sam ate his weight in the little mudbugs.

When I went to pick him up he was having a grand time chasing his cousins around, his hair full of cake and his shirt caked in crawfish butt juice.

I sometimes get homesick for Kentucky, but then I have a day like today, and I know that I would live in BFE for my family.

**Meri and her brood aren't pictured... they were home with an ear infection for this event.

Doggy Door

2009-03-04T17:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight Sam climbed through the doggy door. If we hadn't shut the gate, he might have been halfway to Canada by now.

A piece of motherly advice, Sam, the moss grows on the north side of the tree, so when you are far away from home you'll know to run in the other direction to come back to me.

Mimi

2009-03-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

My mom, who is called Mimi by her 13 grandkids (14th on the way), is working towards her RN after retiring from teaching.

I run some tech support for her, as college has become a lot more Blackboard-oriented, and I have to say that I'm proud of all her accomplishments. She can e-mail, watch the Internet lectures for her class, and I'm told she even finds this blog occasionally.

She still writes her papers out in long hand first, and is not convinced she needs a Facebook page, but these are huge strides. The bane of her existence right now is the .docx file.

This is a picture of my mom when she was in her 20s. By the time she was my age she had five kids. Tonight I saw her talk to my dad, eat a baked potato, and keep Sam in a booster seat all at the same time.

Mimi, you totally rock. Don't let .docx get you down, we're all still baffled and pissed about it.

Milkmaid

2009-03-02T17:42:00.000-08:00

Sam switched to milk because he will be having a first birthday on Thursday. I thought this whole milk thing was going to be great, but in reality I've already been to the store enough times to justify buying a cow.

Anyone want to volunteer to milk while we go on vacation?

One half gallon lasted us 2 1/2 days... and it is not like milk is something you can stock up on or buy in bulk. I checked with the Internet, and it seems we will not be slowing down on this milk thing too soon.

The kid needs something like 24 -31 ounces A DAY, which really only works out to be three, eight-ounce bottles. Of course... this is not counting the juice and water cocktails he's supposed to be drinking too.

I ask:

1. Can someone not bring back the milkmaid?

2. When calculating total fluids consumed, does bathwater count?

Wedding Redo

2009-03-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

My sister, Katherine, got married to her husband Saturday. She's got the official sanction from Rome. All we have to do is get her confirmed. I am her sponsor, and we've only been working on this RCIA thing for about two years now.

As they say, God knows best. Waiting and having a wedding redo was an excellent idea.

None of us really got to attend the first wedding. Fifteen years ago I was in high school, and she and Jay got married in Arizona, where he was stationed at the time. This time around we were all there, save Meredith's family, who was battling an ear infection. One day all us Maples are going to all show up to the same event.

In any case it was a beautiful ceremony, and a good time was had by all at the party.

Mardi Gras

2009-02-23T18:37:00.000-08:00

We hit the children's parade Sunday. Sam got to see his nieces, Ashlee and Abbey. Jason chucked a handful of Jolly Ranchers at us.

There were several nursing home floats, and, of course, all the cute daycare kings and queens riding in the back of pick-ups.

They were throwing some good loot too. Check out Joe's umbrella.

At the very end the fire truck, always on the end because it is always on call, made some loud whaa-whaas, but Aunt Khaki had Sam covered.

Bye-Bye Hair

2009-02-23T18:25:00.000-08:00

Sam's shag look hit the road Saturday. I got him cleaned up, and I miss those baby locks already. He just seems so much more like a little boy now.

The lady who cut Sam's hair did seem to be a baby-cutting expert.

She was dropping clips to get him to look down. They were pumping up the volume on the Chipmunks DVD,one screen for each chair. Then when they finish there is a giant vat of toys for the good boys.

Sam cried when we left.

Einstein Toys

2009-02-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

Sam only plays with the most educational toys on the market. The muffin tin is only for the most advanced pupils, but most any baby can work the nail clippers. I am thinking of moving him up to hair dryer.

First shots

2009-02-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

So, I took Emily's advice and bought a video camera for Sam's birthday. He won't, of course, do much when the camera is on, so you get to watch mundane video of Sam. I still think he is better in person.

Sea World

2009-02-10T18:59:00.001-08:00

I decided that I am going to create a splash zone, like the one at Sea World, around my bathtub. See, I accidentally taught Sam how to splash, and he picked up on it really well. I guess I'll have to start dieting for swimsuit season early.

Again, try not to be jealous of the Paint skills. I'm thinking about offering a workshop.

Sam's First Christmas

2009-01-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

Sam did not care about the giant box wrapped in Christmas paper. Presents, shmesents. Think I'll get lucky, and he'll always be this way?

I got my answer later that day, as Sam had to fight his cousins off his toy. He's like, "Umm ... Can I play with it?"

Hairy Christmas

2009-01-24T11:15:00.000-08:00

This is Christmas picture 104 out of thousands that I have terrific hair. I know that I only fix my hair 23 of the 365 days, but Christmas is never one of them. At least Sam's is looking good. I think my hair is suffering from being shampooed with the baby stuff.

Night Wedding

2009-01-02T09:34:00.000-08:00

I shot an outdoor wedding at dusk over the Christmas break. I am always nervous about having to use a flash, but the pictures were decent. These were my three favorite shots. I always like the odd ones. My New Year's resolution is to shoot more weddings.

Reject X-Mas Card III

2008-12-24T12:58:00.000-08:00

Sam's Christmas Wishlist:

1. Two front teeth

2. For the reject Christmas card gag to stop

Reject X-Mas Card II

2008-12-24T12:55:00.000-08:00

Stop the Christmas paparazzi!

Reject X-Mas Card

2008-12-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

Sam ate Rudolph.

HELP!!!

2008-11-24T14:13:00.000-08:00

Sam says, "Help!!! I am in serious trouble, you guys. I'm being raised by a demented, deranged woman, and there is no one to hold her in check. First, she let someone paint me up like a stupid mouse.

Then she made me wear these stupid mouse shoes to match my face, like this woman has ever matched anything in her whole life.

Seriously, you know where I am ... she must be stopped.

Sam and Sam

2008-11-03T15:31:00.000-08:00

Lately Meme has been juggling both Sams on the evening walk. She figured out that Sam can hold Samantha's leash, and now they are a regular parade.

Let's Go Eat A Bug

2008-11-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

I traded Sam for Zach last weekend, and we headed over to Beaumont, Texas for the Eat A Bug Festival at the art museum. Zach was set from the get-go because he said that bugs don't have pig in them, so he was going to eat one. Meri said she didn't know if bugs were halal, but we decided they were.

The crickets were tasty. If you could get past the whole bug thing then it was just a crunchy, salty treat.

Mattie was not getting past the bug thing. She did participate in all the artsy things, though.

Scary Birthday Party

2008-10-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't actually written anything for the blog lately. Well, that is just how it goes, folks. All you get are pictures of the kid. Here we are at the cousins scary birthday party.

This is the Abby half of his twin cousins. It's hard to find them together at a party. They are both great socialites.

Mom with the latest Maples, Isabella. I saw a friend from college at this party, and he was like, "I just met three new Maples. How fast are y'all multiplying?"

Teething

2008-10-15T15:23:00.001-07:00

Damn you, tooth fairy. We are getting all the teething and none of the teeth.

Halloween

2008-10-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween everyone

He's Off!

2008-09-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

Another reason we haven't been on the blog lately... Sam and I moved into a little house, and Sam decided to start crawling.

Sam sends his love to all of you.

Baby Einstein Toys

2008-09-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

Here is Sam with one of his high tech educational toys. We call this one spoon.

evacuation portriats

2008-09-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

Catch Up

2008-09-25T15:18:00.000-07:00

Oh wait a whirlwind couple of weeks it has been. Literally. First there was Gustav then Ike. It was like we were never going to stop with the storms. The first time we all loaded up and went to Dallas. Seven hours in the car with this scene.
Notice that Sarah is feeding the baby, Katie is holding a DVD player that all three are trying to watch.

The baby was really good on the trip, but he kinda doesn't want to get in the car seat anymore. Who could blame him? He probably never knows when the trip is going to end. Little does he know that with me as his mom he is on a permanent trip.

Camera Shy

2008-08-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when I bring the camera out. I swear the child laughs ALL the time, but I have difficulty obtaining proof. Here is the best I've done so far ...

Bonnet Baby

2008-08-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

This is the point where I become the annoying mom with the brag book, but it's even worse because I have a brag blog. Ahh... look away if you can.

Isn't Sam so sweet in his bonnet. He is going away to daycare now, and I think he is just growing up so fast. I have to go to work and leave this cute thing. Cry. Cry. Cry. First they tell me I can't put him in any more dresses, and now I have to leave him all day.

Like we need money. Ha. Eating is so old school.

Baby's First Date

2008-08-05T16:12:00.001-07:00

Here is Sam with his first date. They were spotted hanging out at Amy's wedding. He is pretty popular with the ladies.

We sent Sam to bed, and then me and my date, Amber, had a lot of fun. Word to the wise: Be careful when putting those little keepsake cameras on your wedding tables and then inviting Lizs and Ambers.

Why do they have to make L.A. so far away from LA?

Behind the Scenes

2008-08-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

A necessary evil that is rarely photographed. I promise I would have better pictures, but I was juggling a squirmy baby and a dead battery. No matter, Amy is so beautiful she even shines when putting on her Dove.

I am so happy she found her true love. I found mine a long time ago, Amy's chocolate chip cookies :)

Dog days of summer

2008-08-02T19:34:00.000-07:00

If any of you have been wondering what we've been up to lately... It was 87 degrees last night at 9:30. There is no escaping the heat. Sam and I are sleeping the hell away.

That or we are depressed about our summer coming to a close.

Family tree

2008-07-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

Here are all the Maples gathered at Sam's baptism. We are only missing two kids. I couldn't begin to write a caption that names everyone, but just know that Sam is the one in the white dress.

Shooting Chuck

2008-07-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

My favorite Californian, Amber, came to visit me this weekend. I showed her all the sights Lake Chuck had to offer. The lake, the casino, the view of the lake from the casino parking lot.

I got to impress her with our 18-wheeler booths in the whiskey restaurant, how it can still feel like hell at 9 p.m., drive-thru liquor, frog legs, alligator bites, mosquito bites, biker dives, and bars with cable spools as tables. I should really work for the tourism bureau writing brochures.

The best part was getting to clown around with Amber who will always make me laugh so hard I pee my pants.

Rush hour

2008-07-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

Rush hour on Lake Charles.

Gangsta who?

2008-07-18T20:01:00.001-07:00

My little brother finally flew the coop. He has his own little apartment, complete with a bass drum coffee table.

We all went over for a birthday/housewarming party, and my sisters, Khaki and Candace decided to throw up some gang signs in the kitchen behind the poster that reads, "Have you noticed you are gangster?" Don't they look gangsta?

Look closely and you'll see Meri's fruit basket, which included a cucumber, on the stove.

Naana bachcha

2008-07-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

Poor baby Saul has a bobo. He is just learning how to walk, and he took a tumble across the coffee table. Bad coffee table. It has been banished to the garage.

My sister, Meri, said people have fussed at her in public. Like, "What did you do to that baby?" Stupid people. They should be banished to the garage.

The script above his picture is Urdu for baby.

K-T Bug

2008-07-16T16:43:00.001-07:00

I have passed down my Paint skills to my niece Katie Bug. She will continue the badness for-ever! Check out her first blog.

The link has been fixed. Please visit Katie's blog:)

Whomp Me

2008-07-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

Must stop word whomping. Only have three days left of school. Might not make it. Must stop word whomping, but it is the only thing that makes pain of research papers go away. Must stop blogging. Have to get back to trying to win the giant carrot.

I'll prune myself, thank you

2008-07-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

This is the day that Sam discovered that he could hold the spoon and put it in his mouth. He still needs to work a little on aim, but he was proud of himself.

I haven't seen any poo yet today. I thought prunes were supposed to be the organic laxative? In this flax seed house we believe in keeping regular. Prunes was a natural choice to introduce to baby's diet ...

He won't eat green beans. He doesn't like carrots. He loves bananas. Meme was on him then. "Did you know bananas are binding? ... Maybe we should feed that baby some prunes..."

Well, Sam, where's the poo?

If you don't start performing soon Meme will give you some laxative tea.

No lie, a couple of weeks ago I woke up in search of some Imodium. I started listing in my head everything I had eaten the day before.

Was the sushi bad? Did I accidentally eat a store-bought tomato? Mom figured out the mystery. The tea she gave me the night before was a laxative. You have to seriously watch the people in this house.

They are definetly on your colon's side.

A Little Off the Ears

2008-06-29T20:39:00.001-07:00

Meme gave Sam his first haircut. The massive amount of hair had passed up his earlobes and was headed straight for the chin. We decided a little snip-snip wouldn't hurt. Plus, I didn't want people thinking he was a girl.

This does not prevent me, however, from wishing I could buy him a dress. The little girl clothes are so cute, and the boy clothes are so heather gray and football. Don't you think he would be cute in a dress? Behold my fantastic Microsoft Paint skills. Don't be jealous. This much crapiness takes minutes to master.

Fruit Trees

2008-06-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Go here to see a very lame attempt at a 360 view of our fruit trees.

Stick 'em Up!

2008-06-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

The reason my brother, Stephen, won't get much work as a baby hair stylist.

The Taste of Success

2008-06-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sam has been trying to pull this toy off his bouncy seat for some time. He has finally learned how to work his hands; well, he can kinda work his hands.

I rewarded him by changing out all his hanging toys. This will probably just annoy him. Hey, what are moms for?

Queen of the Night

2008-06-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

This is a homely looking cactus, but the bloom makes it all worth it. The University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension reports that these night blooming cereus originates in the Carribean, and are not nursery plants, so you have to get a cutting. Ours came from Becky.

It is also called the midsummer night bloomer because it, well, it blooms in midsummer at night. That was a hard call for some botanist.

People on the Internet report braving mosquitoes and sleepy eyes to get a glimpse of it. I just wake up early and catch the bloom before it wilts.

Having A Rice Day

2008-06-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

The first official feeding went well. I think some of it even got in his mouth.

Kung Fu Sam

2008-06-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

Sam says,

"There is no charge for my awesomeness."

P.S. This movie is better if you sneak in a bowl of noodles.

P.S.S. Do not judge us creative geniuses. This fabulous low-tech photo edit was brought to you by Lizs and Microsoft Paint.

Weird Science

2008-06-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

All those babysitting summer-breakers, hail the public library. I had my nieces, Sarah and Katie, and my nephew, Joe, all this week. Khaki and I are trading babysitting, so we can go to college this summer.

I took those chil'ren to the library and got a kitchen science experiment book. Some were very successful like this disappearing shell trick.

The name kind of makes writing a hypothesis a stupid endeavor; however, try it anyway. Put a raw egg in a jar with 3/4 cup of vinegar and watch what happens.

Some of the experiments were highly successful, like the egg trick and the volcano-in-a-bowl trick. Some were not so cool like the grow-a-crystal-out-of-alum-and-water trick, and the rub-bread-in-dust-and-watch-mold-grow trick.

Note to self: it obviously takes double-fiber wheat bread longer to grow mold than sugar-rich white bread.

The trick did remind me of one of the few times someone tried to set me up. My friend, Clay, told me he thought I would like this friend of his. What were these guys appealing qualities? Apparently he liked to hide food and watch things grow on it. Say what you will, the whole idea piqued my interest.

P.S. I have now used my allotted amount of hyphens for the week.

Fussy Baby

2008-06-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Sam,

One day your gas will just annoy me with its stinkiness, but now it causes me actual pain. Please don't swallow any more bubbles. I hate to watch you cry. I tried and tried this morning to get you calm. I'm sorry if there are any lasting effects to taking two teething tablets, gum numb gel, and gas medicine all at the same time.

I rocked you inside. I rocked you outside. I rocked you standing up. I swung you. I feed you. I sang to you. Look at me and those mommy bags under my eyes. Can't you see I tried?

I wish someone would invent a burp machine. It would just massage the baby's stomach until she burped, and then lull her to sleep.

I'm not sure what was going on with you this morning. I feel as though I've failed. Sorry, child. This is the lot you drew when I became your mom.

Somewhere in the heat of a humid summer I think those gas bubbles stuck inside your stomach. They wouldn't budge. Then the sky began to rumble. You quieted down for that, and by the time the first rain drop fell you had burped, and laid down for you nap.

Praise be to God.

Dad's the Top Tomato

2008-06-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

Worried about salmonella-tainted tomatoes? Here is our solution: grow your own. Seriously, can you not see that the universe wants you to grow and buy local?

Now, I will get back to sipping my lemonade. Picking that tomato was hard work, ya know? I mean, sure, Dad put in the garden, weeds the garden, waters the garden, and fertilizes the garden, but somebody has to go out and pick the the dang things. I'm pulling my share. Who do you think eats all those juicy tomatoes?

I'm sure Dad feels like the Little Red Hen a lot. "Who is going to help me pick the wheat, grind the wheat, mix the bread, bake the bread ... ?" But, I appreciate him A LOT. Who else could make my life so rich? He cooks me meals, gives good advice, watches 5,000 foreign films, and loves me lots. Here's to Dad! On top of everything else he does, he has saved me from salmonella!

Meme

2008-06-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

That Sam loves his meme. She has some sort of magic baby dust that stops crankiness in its tracks and brings smiles whenever she is in the room. Sam is hypnotized by his meme. He will yank his head in all directions when he hears her voice, trying to get a glimpse. I think it might have something to do with the time I caught her sneaking him chocolate. Maybe it is that you get your free dose of baby dust after you've raised six kids and have a baker's dozen of grandkids.

Lesson in Teeth

2008-06-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

So, we think Sam might be teething. I know it's a little early at three months, but he's got the river o' drool and monster crankiness.

I took him over to see his cousin Arsaloon's teeth. Flash those pearly whites big boy!
See I tried telling Sam that there are benefits to this whole teeth thing. I don't think he was buying it until he got to watch his cousin chow down on some strawberry.

Nice and 85

2008-06-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

Actual words from an actual weather guy on KPLC tonight. "It's nice and cool out there right now at 85 degrees."

The forecast to the right is our cool outlook for the rest of the week. We will be serving Amber sidewalk fried eggs when she visits in July.

Hit 'Em With A Slugger

2008-06-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

I thought you might enjoy this paragraph I had to write for my Reading Methods class. The assignment was to write a sequence paragraph on ANY TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE. Dr. Callais did say ANY TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE. He hasn't met may Lizs.

"Although slugs are no longer thought of as a delicacy, there is a history of it. The Yurok Indians of the North Coast dined on the gastropods. Then in the late 19th and early 20th centuries German immigrants were known to eat banana slugs, preparing the slugs like fish, gutted and fried, according to the pamphlet ''The Banana Slug - A Close Look at a Giant Forest Slug of Western North America,'' by Alice Bryant Harper. Later, eating slugs fell out of popularity with most everyone. Perhaps the last straw with slug snacks was in 2003 when an Australian man developed a rare form of meningitis after eating two leopard slugs on a dare. "

Moth-er Load

2008-06-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

Joe thought he had hit pay dirt when he found this moth in the backyard. After clicking through dozens of moth pictures, I still can't identify this booger. Want to find a county list and images of moths in your area? WHY? Only odd bloggers with nothing else to do would want to do that. What? You fit in that category? OK. Go here.

Note: Sarah, who is in sixth grade, takes time out from the moth search to reapply her lip gloss.

Smiley Freddie

2008-06-04T18:31:00.001-07:00

papa 064, originally uploaded by KevinSmiley.

This is my cousin Freddie with his scariest face. My Aunt Carolyn hated this picture. She doesn't seem to get her way much with photographs (See Below). I loved it, and ordered wallet sizes for him to pass out to his friends.

Boys rule!

Papa

2008-06-04T18:26:00.001-07:00

My papa has been having a rough time lately. An extremely physically and mentally active 89-year-old, he was recently diagnosed with cancer of the bile duct.

I took this photograph of him on Mother's Day weekend. On the left is my mom and the far right, my Aunt Carolyn. My aunt wanted him to wear his teeth for the picture. He did not. She won. That is to say he beared those teeth good. She was frustrated about it, but we had a good laugh. He was certainly letting Carolyn see his teeth:)

P.S.: He has an interesing theory on global warming. Check it out.

Hera Lives!

2008-06-04T09:00:00.001-07:00

hera 019, originally uploaded by KevinSmiley.

Hera has received her 10th life. I took this sad picture when we were considering putting Hera down. She had been gone for awhile, and decided not to eat. I called her original owner, Amber, and delivered the sad news only to find I was in the middle of a comitragedy.

Such is life with Hera.

I remember my first brush with her. A coonass got attacked by a chipmunk. Hera had brought in the half-dead chipmunk and stashed it in the closet while Amber was away. When my friend Amy's Cajun comrade was headed up the stairs he was met by the risen chipmunk, who decided to take its revenge out on his finger.

Ahh, Hera.

The cat that enters and exits the house by window, and not by request. The cat that battled it out for months with my crazy cat. Not just hissing, eyeing eachother in the hallway fight. We're talking full on cat fights.

Hera's fighting spirit.

When I moved to Louisiana we took Hera. She survived 16 hours on the road and a hotel stay all while high on powdered Valium. We thought this would calm here. She came down sometime in Georgia and was ready to eat.

Life on tour is not her thing.

Finally, she has settled in Sulphur with my sister. Besides an annoying Yorkie, she is living the life. We thought she was a gonner, but she decided to tell us how the cow ate the cabbage. Hera is eating, gaining weight, and back to sassy.

Hera has many, many lives.

S.A.M.

2008-06-04T08:45:00.001-07:00

Sam2months 026, originally uploaded by KevinSmiley.

Here he is ... my first branch.
For Joy!