Reject X-Mas Card III

Sam's Christmas Wishlist:

1. Two front teeth

2. For the reject Christmas card gag to stop

Reject X-Mas Card II

Stop the Christmas paparazzi!

Reject X-Mas Card

Sam ate Rudolph.

HELP!!!

Sam says, "Help!!! I am in serious trouble, you guys. I'm being raised by a demented, deranged woman, and there is no one to hold her in check. First, she let someone paint me up like a stupid mouse.

Then she made me wear these stupid mouse shoes to match my face, like this woman has ever matched anything in her whole life.

Seriously, you know where I am ... she must be stopped.

Sam and Sam

Lately Meme has been juggling both Sams on the evening walk. She figured out that Sam can hold Samantha's leash, and now they are a regular parade.

Let's Go Eat A Bug

I traded Sam for Zach last weekend, and we headed over to Beaumont, Texas for the Eat A Bug Festival at the art museum. Zach was set from the get-go because he said that bugs don't have pig in them, so he was going to eat one. Meri said she didn't know if bugs were halal, but we decided they were.

The crickets were tasty. If you could get past the whole bug thing then it was just a crunchy, salty treat.

Mattie was not getting past the bug thing. She did participate in all the artsy things, though.

Scary Birthday Party

I know I haven't actually written anything for the blog lately. Well, that is just how it goes, folks. All you get are pictures of the kid. Here we are at the cousins scary birthday party.

This is the Abby half of his twin cousins. It's hard to find them together at a party. They are both great socialites.

Mom with the latest Maples, Isabella. I saw a friend from college at this party, and he was like, "I just met three new Maples. How fast are y'all multiplying?"

Teething

Damn you, tooth fairy. We are getting all the teething and none of the teeth.

Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone

He's Off!

Another reason we haven't been on the blog lately... Sam and I moved into a little house, and Sam decided to start crawling.

Sam sends his love to all of you.

Baby Einstein Toys

Here is Sam with one of his high tech educational toys. We call this one spoon.

evacuation portriats

Catch Up

Oh wait a whirlwind couple of weeks it has been. Literally. First there was Gustav then Ike. It was like we were never going to stop with the storms. The first time we all loaded up and went to Dallas. Seven hours in the car with this scene.
Notice that Sarah is feeding the baby, Katie is holding a DVD player that all three are trying to watch.

The baby was really good on the trip, but he kinda doesn't want to get in the car seat anymore. Who could blame him? He probably never knows when the trip is going to end. Little does he know that with me as his mom he is on a permanent trip.

Camera Shy

This is what happens when I bring the camera out. I swear the child laughs ALL the time, but I have difficulty obtaining proof. Here is the best I've done so far ...

Bonnet Baby

This is the point where I become the annoying mom with the brag book, but it's even worse because I have a brag blog. Ahh... look away if you can.

Isn't Sam so sweet in his bonnet. He is going away to daycare now, and I think he is just growing up so fast. I have to go to work and leave this cute thing. Cry. Cry. Cry. First they tell me I can't put him in any more dresses, and now I have to leave him all day.

Like we need money. Ha. Eating is so old school.

Baby's First Date

Here is Sam with his first date. They were spotted hanging out at Amy's wedding. He is pretty popular with the ladies.



We sent Sam to bed, and then me and my date, Amber, had a lot of fun. Word to the wise: Be careful when putting those little keepsake cameras on your wedding tables and then inviting Lizs and Ambers.

Why do they have to make L.A. so far away from LA?

Behind the Scenes

A necessary evil that is rarely photographed. I promise I would have better pictures, but I was juggling a squirmy baby and a dead battery. No matter, Amy is so beautiful she even shines when putting on her Dove.

I am so happy she found her true love. I found mine a long time ago, Amy's chocolate chip cookies :)

Dog days of summer

If any of you have been wondering what we've been up to lately... It was 87 degrees last night at 9:30. There is no escaping the heat. Sam and I are sleeping the hell away.

That or we are depressed about our summer coming to a close.

Family tree

Here are all the Maples gathered at Sam's baptism. We are only missing two kids. I couldn't begin to write a caption that names everyone, but just know that Sam is the one in the white dress.

Shooting Chuck

My favorite Californian, Amber, came to visit me this weekend. I showed her all the sights Lake Chuck had to offer. The lake, the casino, the view of the lake from the casino parking lot.

I got to impress her with our 18-wheeler booths in the whiskey restaurant, how it can still feel like hell at 9 p.m., drive-thru liquor, frog legs, alligator bites, mosquito bites, biker dives, and bars with cable spools as tables. I should really work for the tourism bureau writing brochures.



The best part was getting to clown around with Amber who will always make me laugh so hard I pee my pants.

Rush hour

Rush hour on Lake Charles.

Gangsta who?

My little brother finally flew the coop. He has his own little apartment, complete with a bass drum coffee table.

We all went over for a birthday/housewarming party, and my sisters, Khaki and Candace decided to throw up some gang signs in the kitchen behind the poster that reads, "Have you noticed you are gangster?" Don't they look gangsta?

Look closely and you'll see Meri's fruit basket, which included a cucumber, on the stove.

Naana bachcha

Poor baby Saul has a bobo. He is just learning how to walk, and he took a tumble across the coffee table. Bad coffee table. It has been banished to the garage.

My sister, Meri, said people have fussed at her in public. Like, "What did you do to that baby?" Stupid people. They should be banished to the garage.

The script above his picture is Urdu for baby.

K-T Bug

I have passed down my Paint skills to my niece Katie Bug. She will continue the badness for-ever! Check out her first blog.

The link has been fixed. Please visit Katie's blog:)

Whomp Me

Must stop word whomping. Only have three days left of school. Might not make it. Must stop word whomping, but it is the only thing that makes pain of research papers go away. Must stop blogging. Have to get back to trying to win the giant carrot.

I'll prune myself, thank you

This is the day that Sam discovered that he could hold the spoon and put it in his mouth. He still needs to work a little on aim, but he was proud of himself.

I haven't seen any poo yet today. I thought prunes were supposed to be the organic laxative? In this flax seed house we believe in keeping regular. Prunes was a natural choice to introduce to baby's diet ...

He won't eat green beans. He doesn't like carrots. He loves bananas. Meme was on him then. "Did you know bananas are binding? ... Maybe we should feed that baby some prunes..."

Well, Sam, where's the poo?

If you don't start performing soon Meme will give you some laxative tea.

No lie, a couple of weeks ago I woke up in search of some Imodium. I started listing in my head everything I had eaten the day before.

Was the sushi bad? Did I accidentally eat a store-bought tomato? Mom figured out the mystery. The tea she gave me the night before was a laxative. You have to seriously watch the people in this house.

They are definetly on your colon's side.

A Little Off the Ears

Meme gave Sam his first haircut. The massive amount of hair had passed up his earlobes and was headed straight for the chin. We decided a little snip-snip wouldn't hurt. Plus, I didn't want people thinking he was a girl.

This does not prevent me, however, from wishing I could buy him a dress. The little girl clothes are so cute, and the boy clothes are so heather gray and football. Don't you think he would be cute in a dress? Behold my fantastic Microsoft Paint skills. Don't be jealous. This much crapiness takes minutes to master.

Fruit Trees

Go here to see a very lame attempt at a 360 view of our fruit trees.

Stick 'em Up!

The reason my brother, Stephen, won't get much work as a baby hair stylist.

The Taste of Success

Sam has been trying to pull this toy off his bouncy seat for some time. He has finally learned how to work his hands; well, he can kinda work his hands.

I rewarded him by changing out all his hanging toys. This will probably just annoy him. Hey, what are moms for?

Queen of the Night

This is a homely looking cactus, but the bloom makes it all worth it. The University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension reports that these night blooming cereus originates in the Carribean, and are not nursery plants, so you have to get a cutting. Ours came from Becky.

It is also called the midsummer night bloomer because it, well, it blooms in midsummer at night. That was a hard call for some botanist.

People on the Internet report braving mosquitoes and sleepy eyes to get a glimpse of it. I just wake up early and catch the bloom before it wilts.

Having A Rice Day

The first official feeding went well. I think some of it even got in his mouth.

Kung Fu Sam

Sam says,

"There is no charge for my awesomeness."

P.S. This movie is better if you sneak in a bowl of noodles.

P.S.S. Do not judge us creative geniuses. This fabulous low-tech photo edit was brought to you by Lizs and Microsoft Paint.