Where's the Beef?

I'm soaking some pinto beans to cook Tuesday for my dad. When I left the house he was giving me the third degree. "Do you have sausage? Onion? Cornbread mix? An egg?"
Yes, Dad.

I wonder what he would think of this lovely ham flavoring that came in the bean bag? I mean why buy ham when you can just use the chemical 322o8-T?

Ever since I talked myself into cooking these beans I have been having a hankering for those watery Kentucky pintos with the raw onion and pickle relish. I mentioned this to my mom and she told me that she would pass. Oh, and that she would be bringing rice, so we can have proper beans.